In times of uncertainty its best to stay composed, especially where your wardrobe is concerned. Not sure what to wear? Play by the rules… but don’t forget anything on the line, is in.
Wimbledon’s Rules in accordance with BREXIT:
Rule 1: Competitors must be dressed in entirely All White. Clearly, All-England trumps All-EU.
Rule 2: White does not include off white or cream. England does not include Scotland or Wales. Don’t lose on a technicality.
Rule 3: A single trim of color less than 1 cm is acceptable. Euros? Acceptable. Great British Pounds? Preferred.
Rule 4: Patterns and logos are not acceptable. Neither are prime ministers or ponies apparently.
Rule 5: The back of the outfit must be white. The back of the queue will be alright.
Rule 6: All Bottoms must be white. All stocks have hit rock bottom.
Rule 7: Head wear and socks must be white. Bailouts and straw hats are so last year.
Rule 8: Shoes must be white. That includes soles. Sorry France, no Louboutins allowed in our courts.
Louboutin Sneakers
Rule 9: Visible undergarments (including those due to perspiration) must be white and in addition, common standards of decency are required at all times. This British Exit is so rogue and recent!
Rule 10: Medical gear and equipment should be white. We believe Alexander McQueen’s helmets suffice here.
Alexander McQueen’s “It’s only a game”, spring/summer 2005
By Megan Gallagher
